Read the interview with Tori here:
Tori has been with TER since 2013. She loves art, nature, cooking and exploring erotic boundaries. She has some great teasers on her personal website.
TER: What do you find intriguing about this business?
Tori: I’m intrigued because I’m always turned on by the potential to create something new. I want to expose the truth that human sexuality is far more nebulous, vast and varied than what we see mirrored back at us by popular culture as outlined by oligarchic advertising. I love to explore (and guide others) beyond the standard boundaries of masculine dominance and feminine submission. I’m genderqueer, which in my case means that although I am female I don’t identify as a woman. I enjoy androgyny, the blurry roles that it denotes, and the kind of wild card aptitude which injects into any erotic encounter. Consider this: if you don’t know what I am exactly, and you can’t quite conceptualize the role I’m supposed to play, then we could do anything…
TER: Can you share a little information with our readers on how you got into the business?
Tori: I have always wanted to be in this business! I dipped my toes in it throughout my twenties, but I was more focused on field work, graduate school and my day job, probably because I felt like that was the right thing to do, whatever that means. Once I hit my thirties, however, and had established myself in my field with freelance opportunities to the moon and back (and a safety net of sorts), I made a conscious decision to indulge in my fantasy. At that time, I attracted a friend and mentor who was a few years into the business, and this person introduced me to TER and review culture, convinced me to create professional media and host a website. That was just over two years ago, and its been an amazingly gratifying adventure ever since.
TER: Growing up, what did you envision yourself doing?
Tori: Would you believe me if I told you this? Of course I had a hard time admitting it to anyone let alone myself – its definitely a stigmatized field. And it wasn’t until I got into the game that I learned all of what goes into being a provider. But there was something inside of me that knew very early on that this is what I wanted to bring to the world. Of course I had a cover story, the line I told people as I went through school and more school and then finally got my “dream job”. But that dream job wasn’t enough because it wasn’t what I really wanted to be doing. I feel blessed and know that I am extremely privileged to have been able to explore both avenues.
TER: What has been one of the best or funniest moment in the business?
Tori: Oh gosh, I think technically I can’t discuss those things here. But I love upping the benchmark against which I set my goals. The more I am able to express myself, and the more skilled I become at attracting the right people and giving them what they need, and the more I can do for myself and my community with my resources… well that’s how this business gets better and better.
TER: Have you ever had a fantasy/roleplay request that made you go “huh”?
Tori: I market myself as a playful pervert, so I get all kinds of requests from people who consider themselves perverts (who are actually just in touch with their own sexuality) as well as from folks who are trying to “out-perv” me. To be honest, no earnest request has ever given me the willies. I think the word “perversion” is a social construct – its not real. It’s based on some subjective idea of what is supposed to be. Maybe it’s just me, but I simply cannot believe that there is some normal or pure sexuality. And if I’m wrong, and there is one objective truth about human sexuality, then I’m pretty sure we are all perverts or indulge in perversions at one point or another. The only emails that make me go “huh” are from clowns who think they are too important to go through my screening procedures or from fools who think they have the ability to negotiate my boundaries. But thats more of a “hah” than a “huh”.
TER: What do you like doing on those evenings you do not work?
Tori: I travel the US and Europe about half the time, but when I’m at home in Atlanta, I love to cook and craft. I’m no chef, but a home-cooked meal trumps eating out most any day. And, I paint, collage, assemblage and make costumes. I lived off-grid in a couple different artists communes for several years until recently, so really, any evening that involves proper electric lighting (as opposed to the gentle but often inadequate glow of a solar-powered system) is a treat. That said, when I have a few days in a row to myself, I enjoy stealing away to the forest where I can enjoy the unadulterated night sky free from light pollution and wake up to crisp mountain air. What am I saying? I love the saltiness of the seaside, too.
TER: Do you discuss your work with your friends and/or family? If so, how did you go about telling them what you do?
Tori: I’m queer and all my friends are queer and in my community, there’s no shame in being a sexual being or a professional. I’m not sure how I’d thrive if I had to hide who I was – this harkens back to how I had to hide who I was for so long that I finally burst (and blossomed into who I am now). At the same time, my family does not know. When I left my day job, as I was still independent, I simply requested that my family not ask me what I do for money. I hate lying, so I’d rather not. And let’s be honest, my family won’t be surprised in the least when I finally cast some light on this side of me.
TER: People are always talking about bucket lists nowadays. Do you have one? What’s on it?
Tori: I am going to buy undeveloped land, with a spring or two, to create another flavor of off-grid artists’ sanctuary. I also want to publish a book of short stories and one novel (in which all characters will be products of my imagination – any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events will be purely coincidental). That trinity may be my life’s work, and anything else is gravy.
TER: If you never had to work again, money was no object, what would you do with your time?
Tori: So are we talking a post-capitalist post-industrial world? In that case, I would still be providing – its what I was born to do. Me and all my kinky queer friends would live on the edge of town and folks in need of healing, energy, magic, amusement, adventure and connection as well as individuals searching for guides, teachers, or simply themselves would visit us. Our barter is our time, and I guess patrons would bring livestock, things to fill the cupboard or heirloom seeds. But if we are talking about a situation where a loving slave or two, who couldn’t play because they are busy living their own lives, set up a recurring wire transfer of 20K/month, well then I’d take to developing my land project and honing my fiction. For funsies, I’d continue making sexy surrealist videos showing people things they never knew they wanted to see. I love the video-side of marketing so much! So if money were no object, but were actually still an object in use, I would be making movies. Maybe even holograms?
TER: What do you consider an ideal date? Where would go, what would you do?
Tori: I love day and weekend trips when a suitor (or couple) and I are both outside of our natural habitat. After all, time is the ultimate luxury these days. I like camping and sailing (though I need to protect my skin from the sun) as well as exploring new cities (and their underground sex scenes). I like to make authentic connections, and when you enter into an extended session, you are forced to drop your facade. That’s scary for some, but that is the only route to real intimacy.
TER: What country or place, that you have never been, would you like to go? Why?
Tori: I’ve seen a lot of this wide, wild world and lived as an expatriate in Southeast Asia for several years in my twenties. I even spent a summer in Cuba back before that was completely legal (I actually had a permit from the Department of Treasury to spend up to $100/day, which means I wasn’t violating the embargo). However, I’d love to visit more of the Middle East, particularly Dubai in the UAE, before it becomes a no-fly zone for US citizens. I think anyone itching to travel should do it now because this might be as good as it gets.
TER: How do you feel about being Ms TER?
Tori: I’m thrilled! It wonderful that TER isn’t shying away from spotlighting gender-varient providers. And I would love to see more providers of color awarded this distinction as well.
TER: How do you stay in such great shape?
Tori: I dance all the time, and I eat a rich, fatty diet so that I don’t get too thin.
TER: What do you do in your free time?
Tori: Most of my time is free time since I’m the boss of me. This interview gives you some inclination as to how I live my life.
TER: What is your favorite outdoor activity, and we not talking about shopping.
Tori: Everything is better outdoors! In my personal time, and for which I would never exchange money, I love to make the beast with two backs. Feral frolicking is where its at. There’s no need to clean human fluids off the forest floor.
TER: Anything else you would like to tell members about yourself?
Tori: My urine is alkaline and alkalizing and therefore drinking it is very good for your health.